How to build your safety and happiness?

I have had a few tough days lately.

Maybe it's coming back from a really good holiday to the real world. Maybe it's a lot of work. Maybe it's this persistent Spring rain. Maybe it's all together. I don't really know.

What I do know though is that we all need our small world where we feel happy and safe.

I haven't perfected mine yet. I don't think it's ever going to be perfect because I will continue to build it and change it as my life changes, but I have a few things in mine that make the ground under my feet very solid.

For a lot of people their parents home may be their safe place. You're very lucky to have it. My parents home has a very special place in my heart, but for me it has never been an option to come back to. Some of you may not know but I come from a very small town. There are two things that I like about it. First one being my friends and family who still live there. Second one being the church. That's it.

I accepted a long time ago that that place is just not for me and the person I am and want to be. I like shiny lights of big buildings with 27 floors, crowded streets, museums, galleries and having the opportunity to easily meet new people. None of those are in the small town my parents live in.

I will forever be grateful for everything that I have experienced, the good and the bad, because it brought me to where I am right now. But that is its stopping point.

Building in China

Friends traveling

Building in China

Once I realized that I don't have the safety that maybe most people who come from Serbia and Bosnia do have, I started building mine.

Some of the things that represent my solid ground now are:

1. One Year Freedom Fund

   I have talked about this before, but let me repeat it very clearly again. You need to have as many months of your expenses as possible SAVED, one whole year if possible. This will allow you the freedom to make smart and not rushed decisions. It will allow you the time to figure out a plan if something bad happens in your life. You will be able to pay for something that got broken, say that life happens and move on. If you're a woman reading this please start saving money. Cut your shopping, cut the eating out or anything else you're spending money on and build this. Simply by knowing that you have your rent/mortgage, utilities and food expenses handled for the next few months won't let you accept anything you really don't want. You will think and choose without panicking. One month should be made of three expenses: rent/mortgage + utilities (including gas or monthly bus/train/metro ticket) + food and drinks. Calculate how much you need and tick off one month after another. Once you save up for at least 6 months, ask yourself any of these questions. - Do I still want to work for this company or am I ready to start interviewing for others? - Do I still love the person I am with or is it just a habit? (And if you're living together and you want to quit it, you have 6 months of rent.) - Do I want to move out of my parents house? - Do I want to stop living with this annoying roommate and maybe find a new one? (finally having the money for deposit and maybe an apartment in a bit of a better area) I promise you once you freely answer, because now you can, any of these questions, you will level up your life. Start now!
   

2. Good friends & Networking I have felt my whole life that making friends was much more difficult for me that anyone else on the planet. I thought for the longest time that I like being alone, but the truth was that I was used to being alone, it wasn't a preference. Then I went to Uni, and then to China and then I moved out of that small town into a city and met the most amazing people ever. I am grateful to the moon and back for my friends, for each weekend and phone call, for simply listening to me when I'm stressed or tired, for spending time with me and daring to live life better with me. Put yourself out there and meet people. This is a process so give it time. Be there for them and let them be there for you. When it comes to networking, this is something new to me and something I've recently started really working on. I've met a very communicative, intelligent, funny person around a year ago and was left speechless with his networking skills. I have read books on communication, but nothing compares to real life example and I am very lucky to have met one. I've learned from him that in order to become good in networking you need to have something of value to exchange. Each one of us has something of value. We need to give it some thought firstly, package it well and then put it out into the world. Since I'm very much new in this, I'm still working on my package's marketing, but I strongly believe it can all turn out into something very powerful.
   

3. If other people have done it before me, I can do it too

   It is sad that in the world of technology we live in people still think that a human being cannot learn something new. I've had people doubt me simply because an unfamiliar task has been given to "someone like me". I am a Chinese language interpreter which is something I'm very proud on. And I will achieve and can achieve anything else I set my mind on. I will do it kindly, respectfully and by removing the obstacles one by one, whether someone believes I can do it or not. What is meant for you will never pass you by. So on those days when everyone doubts you, have this sentence and belief as your safe thought - If other people have done it before me, I can do it too. We're all special in our own ways.

These things represent my safety and happiness.

What are yours?